This is a Conversation I Had Last Night

Me: [knocks into a guy while going inside] Whoops! Oh, sorry.
Guy: No, no it's ok. Wait, what's your name?
Me: Jaya
Guy: Woah! What? Jaya? Woah...
Me: What's yours?
Guy: Andrew
Me: Nice to meet you. [Looks down at his shirt and notice that he has guitar picks on paper clips as a necklace] Hey! I have earrings like that!
Andrew: Would you like earrings with guitar picks on them?
Me: No, I already have them. I just said that.
Andrew: Oh, well this one [pulls out the orange one] is from the guy from Barenaked Ladies, and this one [pulls out the brown one] is from the guy from Phish.
Me: Awesome! I actually have a pick from Fat Mike from NOFX.
Andrew: Are you serious?!?! Oh my god, that's amazing!
Me: Yeah, I might actually have it with me.
Andrew: Oh my god if you show that to me I will kiss you!
Me: Uhh...ok. [Fiddles through wallet]
Andrew: Is that a condom?
Me: Oh, yeah
Andrew: Heh, Durex
Me: Oh hey, my parents wedding rings!
Andrew: What? Wait, are they divorced?
Me: Yeah. Oh wait, here it is! [Presents yellow pick from Fat Mike]
Andrew: Oh my god [Kisses pick, makes out with me] Ok, I'm going over there. See you later.

And then I came back, sat on his lap, and found out he had a girlfriend of 17 months who lives in my dorm.

I'm not posting anything else that happened last night for self-serving reasons, but a big thank you to all the girls on my floor for taking care of me. I love you guys so much.